Will your growing wealth affect your sense of belonging?

Your community may change as you build wealth, but that isn’t a reason to hold yourself back. You will find your people.

I’ve long said that building wealth won’t turn you into a different person. If you worry that you’re going to go from yourself to a version of the Evil Mr. Monopoly Guy (or Gal), I can assure you, that’s not how it happens.

There are people out there in the world who act like Evil Mr. Monopoly Guy, but they were already some version of that. Wealth just allowed them to act on their impulses with scale.

But what about your community? What about your people? What about your relationship to the people you know? Will that change?

And the answer is, maybe it will.

Enter David

Take David’s story. In college, he and his friends spent most of their time partying at their house, slacking off and being typical slacker college students.

After graduation, his group all got sort of low-wage jobs here and there and continued to party. But David had graduated (albeit barely) in political science, and was interested in law. And after a few years, he had the opportunity to find his way into a job at a legal firm. It was entry-level, and he wasn’t a lawyer, but it still was higher-paying than his friends working in retail. He would have to get up in the morning, and wear nice clothes.

More to the point, he would be able to afford nice clothes.

David was at a crossroads. Getting dressed up and going to work at a firm is incompatible with staying up and partying all night. But that was part of his community.

There is a real risk there, a risk that by moving into a different financial/working life, that he would lose his community.

What will happen to David?

Identity vs. community

David could very easily not take the job, if his identity and sense of community felt threatened enough. After all, you may have desires, but your identity is more important than your desires, so if anything is in conflict, you will always work toward your identity.

It’s a valid choice, but I think that would be a shame. To refuse an opportunity because of fear that you will change, or that you will lose your sense of belonging, is to keep yourself stuck.

Stuck in the familiar, unwilling to risk, nothing will ever change.

Community changes

You know what’s also fun? Having enough money to do whatever you want.

But will David lose his community?

Potentially, yes.

It’s not guaranteed, of course, but his relationship with his buddies is going to change. Their relationships may grow in different ways, or they may become strained.

And of course, that would be a shame.

But David will also join new communities too. Communities that may not have seen open to him before, but are more aligned now.

It’s fun to party all night with your friends, drinking cheap beer and getting into trouble.

But you know what’s also fun? Having enough money to do whatever you want.

Travel the world. Buy your house instead of renting it. Throw parties for your friends. Buy better beer. Buy plane tickets for your family and friends to meet you for a party in St. Maarten.

David’s college buddies may never have that kind of ambition. (Although, maybe they will.) If that’s the case, David will find new people who better align with him.

It’s a leap of faith, to escape the comfortable and risk losing what you know.

But there are people who are excited to meet you there. People who will challenge you. People who are ambitious and filled with purpose.

I suggest you start partying with them.

Are you ready to find opportunities out there for you? Will you see them if you find them? Make sure you’re prepared. Talk to me and I’ll get you there.

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