Should you do financial coaching with or without your partner?

It’s worth determining how much of the financial coaching journey you want to go on involves your partner, or you and you alone.

I work with people who are single, who have a partner, and who have multiple partners.

It doesn’t matter; the underlying issues and challenges are generally the same.

Everyone wants to feel secure, safe, knowledgeable, and empowered. Everyone wants to achieve their dreams, even if their dreams have become unclear over the years. Everyone wants to have a plan. These desires don’t change whether or not you have a partner.

(Nothing in the above paragraph mentions money, and yet, money touches every one of those points above.)

So when thinking about the financial issues in your life that you want to work on, you would do well to ask yourself: Does your partner (or partners) fit into this work? As in, is the work that you want to accomplish involve a personal journey, or does it involve the journey you’re on together?

There is no right or wrong answer, but it’s still an important question to answer for yourself.

The case for individual coaching

Everyone has a money story. Usually, this is something you were taught by your family of origin, wittingly or unwittingly, though sometimes a powerful formative moment outside of the home may have affected your money story as well.

This story—and the actions it may lead you to—is something you bring to your relationships, but it is yours and yours alone to work on.

Individual coaching can help you really focus on important work, such as:

  • What leads you to want to spend in the way you do
  • Your anxieties around money
  • What would allow you to be your best self around the subject of money
  • Clarity around money goals

And it can keep other topics from crowding out your work, such as:

  • Your relationship with your partner
  • Managing conflicts
  • Your partner’s money story

When you engage in individual financial coaching, you can bring your best self to any relationship you’re in.

The case for coaching with a partner

Couples coaching, or group coaching, is also incredibly valuable. Having made a commitment to a partner, you not only want to bring your best self to the partnership, but you also want to not have money be a stumbling block in your connection.

After all, while money can (and so often is) something that causes conflict in a relationship, it also has the power to bring people together. You may not believe it, but I’ve seen it over and over again with clients.

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So doing financial coaching together can allow you to focus on certain aspects of your connection:

  • Your relationship
  • Your intertwining money stories
  • Conflict management around money
  • Shared goals and dreaming

And all this while working on building the same financial skills and awareness that you would benefit from in individual coaching.

Just like therapy

Ultimately, the decision around whether to engage in financial coaching by yourself or with your partner is similar to the decision around whether to go to therapy by yourself or with your partner.

Is the work you want to do primarily around you and your relationship to money? If so, then you may be better served by engaging in individual coaching. But if you’re looking to grow together, solve shared problems, and engage in shared goals, then coaching together is probably what you want.

Luckily for you, the investment in time and money is the same, at least with me. (Though I should probably change this at some point!)

If you’re still not sure, you can schedule a free appointment with me to talk about your options. Come alone or together, however you’d like to do it!

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