Anyone can feel like they have golden handcuffs even if they don’t make a lot of money. But breaking free can give you surprising relief.
There is a lot to be unhappy about right now. Rampant injustice, an economy that works worse and worse for people over time, life expectancy down.
Oh yeah, and the pandemic.
At the time of writing, the U.S. has an unemployment rate of approximately 11%. (Now, that number is totally wrong, because the rate doesn’t include the vast numbers of people who have been shunted onto disability, and who are disincentivized from ever getting off it, as well as “discouraged” workers who have stopped looking for work. The more accurate number is about 18%.)
Let’s be frank; getting laid-off is not fun. I was laid-off from my full-time job this year, and was almost laid-off from the same job the year before.
But getting laid-off, even now in this time of personal and global uncertainty, has been one of the best things that could have ever happened to me.
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Shove this J-O-B
I’d wanted to quit my job (no matter which one it was) for years. It’s one of my generation’s most romantic ideals.
From Office Space (with its signature “take this job and shove it” theme song) to books like Quitter by Jon Acuff, escaping the “rat race” is what we are all after.
But my need for security always held me back.
I didn’t have much of a safety net. Yes, I could have moved in with my parents again, which I admit is a privilege that some people don’t have, but that didn’t seem like a reasonable option to rely on.
Also, there was the fear that if I move into my parents basement, I may never move out again.
Golden handcuffs
All you need for golden handcuffs is to have more than you are prepared to lose.
I admit, I’ve suffered from a feeling of money scarcity for most of my life. A feeling that if I let go of my persistent drive for financial security, then it would all slip away, never to return.
Not a great feeling. And that’s a feeling that held me back for many years.
Also, let’s be honest, golden handcuffs are a real thing. My definition of golden handcuffs is making enough money such that you are rendered stuck, because the fear of losing that is too great.
The building may be on fire, but you’re still chained to your desk.
You don’t need to be a CEO or a millionaire to have golden handcuffs. You could be at a minimum wage job and still have golden handcuffs.
All you need for golden handcuffs is to have more than you are prepared to lose.
Bravery?
I’d love to say that I was able to become brave enough so that one day that I was able to give my notice and walk out the door.
I’d love to say that I had built up enough money in my emergency fund that I could feel comfortable just quitting.
But that’s not true. I was too wracked with indecision and fear to just quit.
That said, I wasn’t completely passive.
Because when I learned that layoffs were on the horizon for myself and a hundred + other people at my company, my supervisor said that if I worked quickly, I might be able to find another position on a different team.”
And I told him, basically, “nah.”
So, while I didn’t tell my boss to take this job and shove it, I let it end, intentionally. I decided that this was the time to make a change.
Maybe that was a kind of bravery.
Relief (while still in the air)
Free from the golden handcuffs, I can now decide where I go based on what I want to gain, not from what I’m afraid to lose.
I’m still figuring out what my long term situation is going to be, but even amidst all this uncertainty, I feel such a huge sense of relief.
How is that possible? Only a few years ago, I might had looked on in horror. “You’re jumping to your doom!”
But I don’t feel that way. I feel free. Freer than I have perhaps ever felt in my adult life.
Free from the golden handcuffs, I can now decide where I go based on what I want to gain, not from what I’m afraid to lose.
And right now, I know where I want go. It’s been clear for years. I want to help you do the same thing: to free yourself from the money anxiety that is holding you back.
Do you feel like you have golden handcuffs?
